Let’s have a straightforward conversation about relationships and the problems in them.

This is not about blame, or shame, but about taking responsibility.

Because everyone has a story.
We all have been through life, experiencing it’s highs – and lows.
Both of these made us who we are today.
This also determines how we show up as a partner in our relationships.

We all have learned coping strategies in order to handle difficult situations.
And they really helped us. Then.

How our past shapes our relationships

But, what most people aren’t aware of is this: they also bring those strategies to the table in their adult relationships.

It’s as if we see the ‘Here and Now’ through the filter of our Past; and through what we once learned to be true about life and about people.

Due to that, we can’t see the Present for what it really is. As a result of that, we also can’t see our partner for who they really are.

We project our own unfulfilled needs on them. And, if they don’t ‘deliver’, we resent them for it – and react in the same way we once learned, unaware that this perception of them is about us, and has nothing to do with them. Most of the time anyway.

That, of course – also happens on the other side of the table. Because, he also has a past.

So, we don’t see our partners for who they are. We see them as WE are.

Think about that for a moment.

This can cause relationship issues, creating distance between people.
Even leading up to – the verge of – divorce.

Of course, we don’t do this intentionally. We all want loving relationships.

A lot of us just don’t know how. And that is just so sad.

Elton John was spot on in his song ‘Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word’.

But, what if it doesn’t have to be that way?

What if there is a way out of that vicious circle of relationship problems?
What if you have the guts to do your own ‘inside’ job?

Courage, dear heart.

I dare to say: magical things can happen If you dare; And this is based on both my profesional experience as a relationship therapist, as well as my own personal experience with my partner in our relationship of 26 years.

Information about my individual relationship program

My Individual Relationship Program consists of:

• 7 sessions of about 90 minutes, with a two-week break in between.
• A book, a workbook and a goodie bag.
• Homework after every session.
• Access to supplemental videos.
• Daily guidance via WhatsApp.

What makes my book and therapy, different from everything else there already is?

My book and therapy focus on understanding what’s really happening beneath relationship problems and within your own perspective on the relationship. I combine personal experience, psychology, attachment styles, the nervous system, relationship dynamics, and the differences between men and women in an accessible, human, and authentic way. The essence is shifting your focus from blame to where your influence actually lies. That’s often where real change in relationships begins.