Let’s have a straightforward conversation about relationships and the problems in them.

This is not about blame, or shame, but about taking responsibility.

Because everyone has a story.
We all have been through life, experiencing it’s highs – and lows.
Both of these made us who we are today.
This also determines how we show up as a partner in our relationships.

We all have learned coping strategies in order to handle difficult situations.
And they really helped us. Then.

How our past shapes our relationships

But, what most people aren’t aware of is this: they also bring those strategies to the table in their adult relationships.

It’s as if we see the ‘Here and Now’ through the filter of our Past; and through what we once learned to be true about life and about people.

Due to that, we can’t see the Present for what it really is. As a result of that, we also can’t see our partner for who they really are.

We project our own unfulfilled needs on them. And, if they don’t ‘deliver’, we resent them for it – and react in the same way we once learned, unaware that this perception of them is about us, and has nothing to do with them. Most of the time anyway.

That, of course – also happens on the other side of the table. Because, he also has a past.

So, we don’t see our partners for who they are. We see them as WE are.

Think about that for a moment.

This can cause relationship issues, creating distance between people.
Even leading up to – the verge of – divorce.

Of course, we don’t do this intentionally. We all want loving relationships.

A lot of us just don’t know how. And that is just so sad.

Elton John was spot on in his song ‘Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word’.

But, what if it doesn’t have to be that way?

What if there is a way out of that vicious circle of relationship problems?
What if you have the guts to do your own ‘inside’ job?

Courage, dear heart.

I dare to say: magical things can happen If you dare; And this is based on both my profesional experience as a relationship therapist, as well as my own personal experience with my partner in our relationship of 26 years.

Information about my individual relationship program

My Individual Relationship Program consists of:

• 7 sessions of about 90 minutes, with a two-week break in between.
• A book, a workbook and a goodie bag.
• Homework after every session.
• Access to supplemental videos.
• Daily guidance via WhatsApp.

PS:
Besides our individual stories, there is also that ‘Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus-thing’. That’s all about our primal biological instinct. You will not change that with any kind of therapy. But, what you can do is learn about and develop awareness of these innate differences. Add choice, change your reactions, and your relationship will improve instantly.

PS:
Why I primarily work with women:
Well, I worked with couples for a long time but I spent a lot of time managing their conflicts while they were sitting on my couch. And that was just so darn inefficient.
So, I stopped doing that and decided to work with individual women.

Why primarily women?
Well, I’m a woman myself so I understand what a lot of women go through in relationships from the inside out. Especially, because I have been down a rocky relationship road myself.

It’s also because I truly believe that women are more likely to get good results with my way of working. And I like that because, obviously, my goal is to get the best results for my clients.